Author Archives: Tandi Rogers

A scene any UU would recognize: members and friends gathered for refreshments and conversation after the service concludes.

But look around. Do you see the parents of young children? Oh, they’re there. They just aren’t engaging in the way you are or in the way they’d like to be. (And the way that’s necessary for a church to grow.) Instead, they’re cleaning up the juice that their daughter spilled. Fetching a cookie for their son who is hungry and cranky. Trying to put the infant to sleep by swaying from side to side in a quieter part of the fellowship space.

Last year, my small church, Unitarian Universalist Community Church of Hendricks County (located outside of Indianapolis, IN) had a typical RE attendance. After services, parents often appeared flustered. If they were new to the church, the setting was even more overwhelming, and they often didn’t return. I understood. With two young kids of my own, I faced the same challenge every Sunday — it is nearly impossible to meet new people and make meaningful relationships while at the very same time parenting small children. Parents lacked the opportunity to make essential connections.

In January, I became the part-time Director of Religious Exploration. I wanted to address this struggle for meaningful interaction among the parents at our church.

So we formed a new group for mothers with young children, called Sunday Night Supper Club. SNSC is a potluck dinner held at the church on the third Sunday of each month. Moms share food and fellowship, telling stories about our children, ourselves, our journeys, serious things, and silly things, and loosely follow the church’s theme for the month. Things that are hard to talk about after church while chasing toddlers and some things that are hard to talk about, period. Because we meet on Sunday nights, we aren’t distracted by children. (Childcare is provided for those who need it.)

I quickly realized this group’s potential. The camaraderie and conversation elevated my mood and made me a better parent, wife, and UU. The trust among the group grew quickly in a way that was remarkable.  These moms were finding a place to laugh, cry, share and find support in ways that many may have been lacking (and didn’t even know we were missing something).  So I invited some other moms from outside the church. I reached out to the mothers in the cooperative preschool my children attended. And they reached out to their friends.

They came, either online in the Facebook group or in person to SNSC.

Slowly, several began coming to UUCC on Sunday mornings too.

Then they brought their spouses.

And then their children.

And then they began bringing their friends, both to SNSC and church.

And then they started signing the membership book and joining committees.

Since forming this group 11 months ago, UUCCHC has nearly doubled RE enrollment. We have 65 enrolled children and youth in RE in a church of only 86 members! Our average weekly RE attendance has gone from the teens to the thirties.  I believe in time, more of these women will also become members.

More interesting facts from SNSC:

• 47 members of the private Facebook group provide a place of ongoing dialogue and support

• 1 charity adopted
• 40 years: the age span among group members
• 3 group leaders to help maintain focus during meetings and put our ideas into action
• 4th Sunday of the month, when the newly inspired men’s group meets (intentionally not on the same Sunday as SNSC to allow for childcare where possible)
• 30 feet: the distance to the top of the high ropes course we conquered to celebrate our church’s theme of Beginnings
• Infinity. You can’t quantify the friendships formed and the positive changes women are making in their lives because of the support the group provides.

What hasn’t changed? I still don’t bother to get a cup of tea on Sunday mornings. My children still need me. But now I have Sunday nights.

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Renee Bowman, part-time Director of Religious Exploration at UUCCHC can be reached at dre@uucchc.org, but not between 5:30 and 8:30 p.m. on the third Sunday of each month.  (Tandi notes that her UUCCHC boards are a lot of fun to follow on Pinterest.)

At the Unitarian Universalist Church of Annapolis, we had a problem: Not enough time together. This isn’t unique to us, many congregations struggle with this… Here are a few symptoms of that problem:

• We have two Sunday services and Religious Exploration (R.E.) for 6th grade-12th grade only at the first service. Therefore, the majority of the R.E. families only attend at the first service, even for younger kids, and second service only has a few kids for an attempt at childcare.
• R.E. facilitators can’t go to church when they teach– or if they do, they have to stay at church for three hours. Not feasible.
• 6th thru 12th grade youth don’t attend worship, or if they do it’s only for the occasional “multi-generational” worship.
• Coffee hour is crowded and it’s hard to navigate and really connect with people.
• Adult R.E. happens on weeknights if it happens at all and very few people attend–making that time, finding a babysitter, driving in the dark, are all barriers to attending.

The solution we came up with was MIDDLE HOUR.

In between the two Sunday services we would offer an hour of R.E. and Connection opportunities for all ages: Children, Youth, and

Adults. This means that for many people, including many children and youth, church is now two hours long instead of one. This is important for many reasons, and we have noticed some significant changes even in the short time we’ve been trying this experiment…

• Families with children can attend either service, because R.E. (Middle Hour) is in between– We’re seeing more families starting to attend the second service.
• Children have childcare after the first 15 minutes of service so they havemore peer-time and know the kids in their group better (therefore it’s easier to make friends).

  

• Adult volunteer leaders of the childcare sessions are not the “usual RE volunteers” which expands our volunteer-base and encourages more adult participation with the children.
• Youth 6th-12th grade are attending worship with their families! They are also starting to volunteer as ushers, greeters, and sound booth techs.
• Adults have 4 options every Sunday for Adult RE including a “Going Deeper”session each week to dive deeper into the themes of the service, led by the Lay Minister, monthly 7-Principles discussions, twice-monthly Music as a Spiritual Practice with our music director, and a wide range of other options that change on a weekly basis. The enthusiasm around Middle Hour has led to an overabundance of wonderful offerings–whereas last year we struggled to get folks to sign up to lead Adult RE, this year we already have four offerings per Sunday scheduled through the entire year!
• Since we typically have about 50-60 adults attend Middle Hour Adult RE offerings, coffee hour has opened up, allowing

  

  thosefolks who just want to chat with each other more space to do so.

This didn’t happen overnight. It took a year of intentional meeting and communication with the Board, staff, and stakeholders including youth, parents, choir, and others. Lots of organized logistical planning took place.

We decided before undertaking this project to give it four months to let the “wrinkles” fall out before doing any formal evaluation. So

far, informally, the response has been very positive. R.E. attendance and worship attendance has remained steady, there are a lot more youth in services, childcare volunteers and children seem engaged and happy, and people have remarked about the great Adult offerings, especially parents who can now have some adult connection time at church without worrying about their kids!

There are many things vying for our time and attention–It’s nice to have a little time carved out of our week to connect to our values and the people who share them.

If you have any questions about Middle Hour, feel free to contact me at cleonetracy@uuannapolis.org .

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Rev. Christina Leone Tracy is a preschool teacher, writer, accountant, public speaker, theatre performer, and theologian… Or, you can call her Faith Development Minister at the Unitarian Universalist Church of Annapolis. In addition to her other roles, Rev. Christina is wife to Brian and dog-mommy to Jester and Zoe.